Detention
by CalmIsOverrated
Summary: Peter gets stuck in detention before a fight so Natasha and Bruce must pose as his parents to get him out.


Peter Parker flinched a second before the fifth projectile of this class bounced off the back of his head to join the growing pile on the ground. He guessed from the wetness at the back of neck it was spitballs. A courtesy of Flash and his gang of friends.

His eye twitched as another spitball struck him. He could almost hear Flash's shoulders shaking in barely suppressed laughter. Peter was almost tempted to turn around and ask how Flash had so much spit in his mouth. But knew his humor wouldn't be well received. Tough crowd. But MJ might have a kick at watching Peter allow himself to be throttled by the jock. The girl hadn't outright stated it yet, but gave knowing looks whenever something Spider-man related was going on.

One of the reasons he held back is the big battle going on in Times Square between AIM and the Avengers. Tony Stark had called shortly after fourth period, Peter could hear the sounds of battle waging in the background. The inventor told Peter to stay alert and get over to the scene ASAP. So Peter tried to keep his head down and being a model student. All the while keeping an eye on the news, checking on his phone for any updates and breaking news between classes.

Peter was heading to his next and final class for that day when Flash seemed to get tired of his 'ignore, do not engage' tactic. Instead he and his goons had been attempting to corner Peter anytime they could, trying to goad the teen into a fight for the last three classes. Specifically when Ned, and more importantly, Michelle, were away in different classes. But it was fine, this was the last class of the day. He had almost made it through the day with minimal squabbles with Flash.

The bell finally rung and the teacher dismissed them. Peter grabbed his notebook and pens in one quick swoop and hurried out the door and into the wave of teenagers. When he made it to the locker the teen grabbed his bag and dumped the school supplies from his arms inside, trying not to further bury his suit. Then he waited for his friends to appear from the tide of teenagers. If the Avengers didn't call he still had plans to hang out with Ned and MJ.

"Hey, Penis!" Peter jumped and whipped around before he could stop himself. Flash smiled smugly at the fact he made the teen jump. Which wasn't difficult, Peter was a jumpy kid. He began sauntering towards Peter, his friends were nowhere to be seen.

Peter barely suppressed rolling his eyes and sighing. "What do you want Flash?"

The bully said nothing but grabbed the front of Peter's shirt and slammed him against the lockers with enough force the old Parker would have a bump on the back of his head. Instead, Peter gave a pained hiss and tried to escape without actually using his strength.

"You're starting to piss me off, Parker."

Peter leveled him with a shocked look. "For what?" He asked incredulously. "Ignoring you and your taunts?"

"Exactly, you Faker!"

Peter bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head in disbelief. The other teen was still going on about Peter's 'internship'. And while it was, in fact, a ruse, he was telling the truth when he said he hung out with Tony. Most of the school had grown bored of rhe 'Parker drama', but his bully continuously harped on it.

"Flash, let me go. Now," Pete gritted out behind clenched teeth. If the Avengers needed him, he couldn't be stuck in detention. And Peter knew from experience that is where this would lead. And if Tony and the others thought he was just some irresponsible teenager they might no longer allow Peter to fight and train with them.

"Why? Need to get home to help your little old Auntie? Oh! Or is that 'internship'?" Flash didn't move his hands but Peter could just hear the quotes around the word.

"Internship," Peter answered tensely. Hoping this would just end quickly.

"Liar," Flash huffed and pushed Peter into the locker once more.

Peter could feel phone ringing in his pocket and he knew he was spending too much time on this. Peter pushed off Flash with just a little more force than necessary. "Leave me alone Flash."

"Or what?" He smirked. "You'll sic Iron Man on me?"

Peter didn't respond and picked his bag back off the floor and moved to push past Flash. Instead, the bigger teen pushed him back again. Hard. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see a small gathering crowd but no MJ or Ned.

"Answer me, Penis! Oh wait, you can't!" This drew a few chuckles from Flash's followers in the crowd. Most of the other students were simply watching with pittying gazes, too scared about their own reputations to do anything to help.

"Be truthful here Parker, why would _anyone_ like Tony Stark want someone like you when there are hundreds of smarter people in this school, like me. He probably picked you out of pity! That is, if your internship even was real!"

Peter had managed to get into this 'smart kid's school' as his Aunt had put it, though several summer jobs, a scholarship, and some luck. "Screw. Off. Flash," Peter spat with disdain, getting real tired of this real quick. "You're just mad you couldn't buy your way into an internship like you did this school." He didn't raise his voice, but he might as well have yelled, because the suddenly hallway became very quiet and the tension was tangible.

He felt the fist before he saw it. It didn't hurt too badly, he'd felt worse. But it was sudden enough he was knocked off his feet. He could feel the throbbing where Flash's fist became acquainted with the side his face. His temple was tender, and he knew from experience there would be a killer bruise for the next few hours.

"Hey! What's going on here? Move!" A voice interrupted. His super-hearing let him know it was the principal. Flash also seemed to realize his mistake, the look of shock would have been funny in any other situation.

Peter's head shot up and he wrapped his hoodie tighter around himself. Trying to make himself smaller so he could sneak out in the crowd. Any hope he had was crushed when the fuming Principal called out, "Thompson, Parker! My office now."

.•.•.

Principal Lewbert sunk down in his leather chair, as he glanced at his misbehaving students. "What exactly happened today?"

He had barely finished his sentence before Flash spoke up. "Parker attacked me! I was minding my own business when he starts pushing me. I acted in self-defense!"

Peter's mouth dropped open and he gaped like a fish out of water for a second. Then he turned to say that was _not_ in any sort of way what actually happened. But he was once again cut off, for the second time that day. Except this time, by the Principal.

"You will have a week of detention Parker, starting today," he said, jabbing his finger in the teen's direction. Ignoring the strangled noise that escaped Peter's throat. "Thompson, this better not happen again. I don't care who starts it," the Principal's beady eyes turned to each of them in turn. "Am I understood?"

Both of the boys nodded. Peter was fuming inside as he threw his bag onto his shoulder and made to leave. He did his best to ignore the look on Flash's face as much as possible. But it didn't work so Peter glared as he left. The jock was still sitting in his chair, trying to look as innocent and simultaneously smug as possible.

Peter closed the door behind him as he trudged the routine path to detention. Which was where poor Pete was sitting in a horribly bland detention room for the fourth time in as many months. By now Peter could quote the PSA videos that played in the background word for word. "So you got in a fight-" Peter almost scoffed. _Look who's talking. _The 'rogue Avengers' had been pardoned months ago but he still couldn't help thinking it.

MJ had left about fifteen minutes ago, taking her pencils and sketchbook paper with her. But not after declaring that he looked too anxious even for her. Then she left him alone to face the next hour and a half of boredom all alone.

Peter felt a familiar sensation of his spidersences tingling at the back of his head. One he associated with alerting him a second before phone in his pocket ringing. For a moment he couldn't believe he forgot to tell Tony he couldn't be there and immediately went to look at it. Before he could even try to answer it, he heard the teacher at the front of the room slam his book down. Peter jumped and his eyes shot up in surprise, he saw Tony's Contact image in his peripheral vision.

"Nuh uh, no phones in detention. Fork it over Parker," the teacher ordered gruffly. He was now standing in front of the teen's desk.

"But I-"

"No but's, this is what happens when you get in fights. You lose stuff. Hand it over or you won't get it back today."

Peter sighed and locked his Stark-phone. The last thing he needed was some nosey teacher discovering he had Tony Stark's number. Then he grudgingly handed it over to the man and watched as he retreated to his desk, and placed it

He couldn't help the gnawing worry churning in his stomach. The Avengers may have needed him and here he was, stuck in detention. There was nothing Peter could do but mentally curse out Flash with words that would have Tony washing his mouth out with soap. He got bored watched the clock and suddenly wished he hadn't finished all his schoolwork already. Including the work that was supposed to be completed over the weekend.

Peter laid his head on his arms boredly. This is going to be a two hours.

.•.•.

And it was.

For about fifteen minutes of it, Peter tried to plan a way out of this situation that wouldn't result in more punishment. The window could be a good option. He eventually gave up and tried dozing, nights of constant patrols and homework had exhausted him, but not enough to overpower the worry he was feeling.

The teacher, though, was none the wiser, and was snoring away behind his desk. Peter contemplated taking his phone and leaving, but then he'd feel guilty and get in even more trouble.

Peter had around seventy minutes left when he heard something creak beside him. He tensed, but sensed no actual danger. The smell of cinnamon became apparent to him as he twisted around.

"Natasha?"

"In the flesh," She was indeed sitting to his right where MJ was earlier. Her posture was easy and relaxed though Peter knew it was likely anything but true. He noticed, with extreme guilt, some concealer dabbed hastily along her cheekbone. "Though, I have to ask why you aren't in Times Square currently helping fight off AIM's blob of goo."

"I... I have detention," he answered simply, still surprised that Natasha was at his school. In the door frame he noticed Bruce leaning against the door. Then Peter noticed the window, which had been closed when he entered the room, was now open. He was surprised he hadn't noticed the draft before.

"We need you, Stark's getting his ass handed to him, and so are the others," she said coolly, as though indifferent but Peter knew her well enough to know that she did care. The Avengers were her family.

"I can't," he whispered, eyes darting up to watch the sleeping teacher, who was still undisturbed.

"If it wasn't your fault, you should not be punished." Natasha said.

"Welcome to highschool," Peter hissed, not even questioning how Natasha knew the whole thing wasn't his fault. His eyes landed back on the sleeping teacher then back to the redhead. Natasha was staring at him and Peter realized with a start she was examining the nasty bruise he had on his temple. He mentally shook it off. "Now get out of here before I get in even bigger trouble."

"Can't, we need your webs in the fight," Bruce responded from the doorway. Peter's head shot up in surprise, having forgotten the silent man was there.

Peter ran a hand over his face. On one hand, he wanted to tell them to take his shooters and _go_... But on the other, they were _his_ shooters "I can't just leave! I'll get in trouble. I'd need to go to the Principal's office and get dismissed but that won't happen because Aunt May's busy and I don't have parents." He explained, wishing they'd just go.

"We can get you out," Natasha said. This time both Bruce and Peter stared at the redhead, confused.

"How?" Bruce asked first.

"We become parents, honeybuns," she said sarcastically, as though the solution were obvious.

Then a simultaneous... "_What_?"

.•.•.

It was more than surprising and maybe a little concerning just _how_ easy it was to convince Principal Lewbert that Natasha and Bruce were Peter's parents. Despite them being Avengers and their faces all over the media, and the man knowing at some point Peter's parents were dead. But that quickly proved to be the easy part.

After his principal finished telling (Flash's side of) the story about why Peter was in detention he finished off with, "He started a fight with Eugene Thompson, one of my star Football players! That can't go unpunished."

Peter looked down at his shoes, to avoid Bruce's questioning gaze and Natasha's furious look. It was one of the few times he'd seen her so angry and it was towards something he'd done... Shit. His face was burning with embarrassment and he was mentally berating himself for getting into this situation. If only he'd kept his mouth shut! He was _Spider-Man_ for god's sake! A vigilante that knows the _Avengers_! Before his thoughts could go any further they were interrupted by a steely cold voice.

"My паук would never start a fight," she accused, her anger boiling just below the surface. "What makes you think Peter, the student with straight A's in all his classes and no record of aggression, would randomly attack a student who has a record of being aggressive? I sense a prejudice against my son." She said it with such conviction Peter blinked, shocked. He knew Natasha was a good actor, but he couldn't help feeling that maybe she actually meant it.

"N-no it's not like that," the principal had obviously _not_ expected a argument like this. Usually the parents simply accepted whatever punishments were handed out. Or even handed out their own.

"Is it not?" She asked.

"Umm," he still seemed paralyzed. Natasha tended to have that affect on people.

"Hey, N-_Mom_, don't we still have a fi- an _appointment_ to get to?" Peter interrupted quickly using the designated excuse, his eyes darting from Natasha's glare to his principal's shocked look.

"Yes, паук, we do," Natasha said, pulling her tight ponytail even tighter and standing up and sashaying away. Her point was made and it was clear; Peter had scary 'parents'.

Peter and Bruce quickly followed after her. She was still steaming mad and Peter watched as the students who were here for after-school activities jumped out of the way of the storming redhead. Good thing too, Peter guessed that anyone who tried to stop her was in danger of becoming collateral damage.

"I can't believe you two _did_ that," Peter hissed to Bruce, as they left the building. His face was a bright red to rival his spider-suit as the memories of what just happened played in his mind. The looks he was getting from his peers that had heard bits of the conversation- Peter thought is was less of a conversation and just an ex-assassin chewing out his principal- didn't help.

"Can you really not?" Bruce asked, he was grinning.

Peter paused. Two months ago he would have fainted simply being in the presence of Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff or any other Avenger. Now he was just annoyed half the time. He sighed. "I can."

"Just be glad Clint wasn't here," Natasha appealed, a small smile on her face, and then her expression changed to serious. "Don't think I'm not going to tell Tony about this."

He was Spider-man. Spider-man wasn't supposed to get into petty fights with highschool bullies. What would Tony think? Peter's brown eyes eyes widened with panic and it showed in his voice. "No! Please don't, I-"

"Peter," Bruce silenced him, his calm attitude shifted to no nonsense. Like some sort of professor. Peter whipped around to face the scientist. "If something like this happens again, tell us. We're your family, and we will help you. I know for a fact if Tony were here, he would've been pissed. What I'm trying to say is, you're not alone, you're friends aren't your only protection. You have us- the _Avengers_, on your side."

Peter stared at them both with wide doe eyes. Maybe the teen was waiting for them to crack up laughing before explaining that they were just joking. But it didn't happen and he couldn't see anything but honestly, even on Natasha's face. He started nodding slowly, and a grateful smile donned his face. Peter didn't have many people rooting for him, even as Spider-man people loved to blame him for the city's problems. This was a refreshing change.

Then Natasha surprised him by wrapping her arms tightly around Peter. Which after a stunned second, the teen returned the hug. Bruce simply gave Pete a quick pat on the back when she released him. To the doctor, who was never one for touching people too often, the gesture, in its own way, counted as a hug.

"Now, go get suited up, паук," she said, waiving him off. They did still have a job to do.

For a moment Peter just looked at them both with a fond look, then flashed one of his brightest grins and took off. His bag in hand, mask already pulled over his head.

"Soo," Bruce started, turning to Natasha with a raised brow, "honeybuns?"

.•.•.

_Word: __3,000_

_Okay, here's some (mostly) lighthearted fluff.__ No beta, all mistakes are mine._

_This is probably wildly inaccurate, __but__ this is __fanfiction__ so __ohwell__ A__ccording to Google translate '__паук__' means 'spider'. But I don't know Russian._ _I don't remember what exactly inspired me to write this, but I think it was that scene __in __TLA_. _I__dk__, tell me what ya think, I'm always lookin__g for ways to improve._

_So I was thinking... Should I try to post some sort of one-shot every week or so? I feel guilty because I'm not updating my __fics__ very often lately. Would this be something anyone would be interested in until I get rid of my writer's block? I'd be willing to take requests for them._ _Pftt I always get nervous when publishing stuff._

_I'M__ SIXTEEN YEARS OLD TODAY, __BITCHES_

_Remember, reviewers get cookies~_

_(*Gives everyone cookies anyways.*)_


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